"Recommitment" for sponsor/mentor couples.

The leadership team, which could be church leaders or marriage educators, will be wise to make a formal recommitment of the sponsor/mentor couples an important element of the program. Sponsor/Mentor Couples will function best when they are asked to function within a structure that:

Affirms their commitment, so their efforts are not “taken for granted."
Clarifies the appropriate limits/boundaries of their role as sponsors/mentors.
Structures a timely “recommitment” which allows for couples to cease being sponsors/mentors (by not making a recommitment to the program).
The “recommitment” also provides an opportunity for the leadership people and the sponsor/mentor couples to address any questions/issues that will help make for a better program.

Whether the recommitment is for one year or for two/three years is a decision for the leadership team to make. A yearly recommitment is probably ideal, but making a two ~ or even three ~ year recommitment may be more practical for programs with large numbers of sponsor/mentor couples.

The leadership team will schedule a date/time for Recommitment knowing that not every couple will be able to attend the ceremony. The planning of the Recommitment must also include a plan for dealing will the couples who are not able to be present. The leadership team can decide how best to deal with these couples. It may be appropriate to accept their recommitment by phone or email. It is also an opportunity to clarify that a couple is not renewing their commitment at this time (e.g. they may be dealing with a sick parent and need to cut back on other activities).

The Recommitment ceremony can be as formal or information as the leadership team determines is suitable. Remember that this needs to be done again and again, so it is wise to make it as easy-to-accomplish as possible.

It is good to provide a document for the couples to sign. The content is up to the leadership team, but we recommend including the following:

OUR RECOMMITMENT TO SERVING AS A SPONSOR/MENTOR COUPLE

We ___________________________________ affirm our commitment to function as a sponsor/mentor couple for the next year (two years / three years).

In making this commitment, we agree to function according to the guidelines of the program as written into the text of For Better and For Ever. We especially agree to the “ground rules”…

· We are willing to share our lives and experience of marriage with you. Our goal is to encourage you to be the best couple you can be. It is not to get you to be like us.

· We will encourage you to share what you wrote and what you have talked about. However, no one will be forced to share. What you share is a free choice.

· We will share personal stories with you and you may share personal stories with us. Be assured that whatever you share stays in this room. We make no report of what you say to anyone else.

In addition, we are convinced of the importance of “follow-up” with the couples we sponsor/mentor through the first year(s) of their marriage. We will do our best to keep in touch with our couples because we think this is a critical strategy for helping them to build a “divorce proof” marriage.

We also think that our efforts to assist the couples we sponsor/mentor are an important factor in helping us to “work at” our own marriage. We see sponsorship/mentorship as a unique gift that motivates us to continue this commitment.

Signed: _______________________________________________

Address: ______________________________________________

City: ___________________________State/Prov: _________ Zip/Postal Code: _________________

Phone: _____________ Email: ____________________________ Date: _____________________