Pastor's recruiting letter...adapt as you wish.

Dear …………

I am asking you to consider becoming a Sponsor Couple for our parish.

Sponsor Couples are married couples who "journey with" engaged couples and help them prepare for the commitment of Christian marriage. The "sponsor couple" process matches up one married couple (the sponsor couple) with one engaged couple for a series of meetings (usually 5 or 6 meetings). These meetings take place in the home of the married couple. This "one married couple working with one engaged couple" process has proven more effective than the older methods of giving lectures to groups of engaged couples. You might think of it as a form of personal coaching.

After the engaged couple is married, the sponsor couple has two follow up meetings with the newly married during their first year of marriage. Sponsor couples are expected to "sponsor" no more than one to two engaged couples per year.

The For Better and For Ever workbook will guide your meetings with the engaged couple (En las buenas y para siempre in Spanish). You will each need to have your own copy. Each of you would be expected to read and respond in writing to the questions in each chapter. You will then share with your spouse what you have written. You will then decide which part of the material you will go over with the engaged couple in your discussion together. There is more material in the workbook than would be possible to cover in discussion. As you get to know the engaged couple it will become easier to determine what should be covered with them.

How to determine whether this ministry is for you?

The following questions may help you answer this question. Keep in mind that we are not looking for “perfect couples.” If you know from personal experience the “good times and the hard times” of marriage, you will be more credible when you share your experience with engaged couples who often worry that they will not succeed in marriage.

1. Are you in a canonically valid marriage?

2. Does your lifestyle give evidence of your faith and commitment to your marriage?

3. Marriage preparation is a team effort that involves the cooperation of clergy, parish staff and sponsor couples. Are you willing and able to work with others, and be part of a team?

4. Have you been married at least 3 years?

5. Are you committed to growth in your own marriage relationship?

6. Are you committed to growing in your understanding of your partner rather than trying to change him/her?

7. Are you able to say that your marriage is not in need of professional therapy?

8. Are you open, empathetic and flexible? Would you be open to seeking help if one of you thought that you needed it?

9. Do you have a sense of humor?

10. Do you pray regularly? Are you willing to deepen your prayer life together?

11. Are you willing to continue to learn about your marriage, your faith and life in general?

One more thing, you will be expected to participate ~ as a couple ~ in a 4 hour training for this ministry that will be offered…...