Study Guide "Discussion Question"

The intent of these questions is to help facilitate sponsor training. There are 2 ways to use of these questions.

1 - Large and small group format: Give each couple two sets of these Discussion Questions (so each person will have his/her own Discussion Questions). While the group is waiting for others to arrive, invite the couples to write their answers to Questions 1-12. When the leader begins the training session, he/she will invite the couples to share their answers with their spouse. After allowing a few minutes for this sharing (just with one’s spouse), the leader can then talk with the whole group about: 1 – The value of writing the answers, rather than sharing without writing (some of them may not have written). 2 – The difference between the mere sharing of information and “dialogue,” especially in areas where their answers may have been different.

There may be time to invite the couples to share some of their answers with the whole group, especially, in areas where their answers may have been different. (The reason to focus on differences is that sharing similarities is easy, it is more challenges to share about differences. Training needs to help couples become more comfortable with sharing differences in ways that affirm their relationship with one another.)

2 - Training individual sponsor couples (This would include married couples using the video/DVD materials to direct their own “self-training.”): Make two copies of the questions, one for each spouse. Each person is encouraged to reflect upon the questions. Writing the answers is very helpful. The couple is encouraged to share their answers and dialogue, especially about any differences in their answers.

Whether your are responsible for training a group of married couple about how to be sponsor/mentor couples or whether you are an individual couple learning how to do this on your own…use the questions as a way to facilitate discussion/dialogue. Choose the questions you feel would be most beneficial to the group you are training (or most interesting to talk about with your spouse if it is just the two of you). Adults usually learn best when they have a chance to integrate information and/or new insights with their own personal experiences. The purpose of the questions is to help people learn new information (maybe) and learn how to share information in a way that strengthens/deepens their marital relationship.

There are many ways to complement the discussion questions with the video / DVD. Because the video / DVD is packed with a great deal of very important information, it may be wise to decide ahead of time when you would like to stop the video / DVD and have the couples answer a few of the discussion questions. Then continue with the video / DVD. If it is just your and your spouse, you have the luxury of stopping the video / DVD for discussion and then starting the video / DVD again whenever you please.

Although an attempt is made to keep the questions in some sort of order that follows the video / DVD, you may choose to use the questions in a different order, and that is perfectly fine.

As you may know, married couples get into trouble when they have not developed the skills for effective discussion/dialogue. Make sure this training experience allows for and promotes effective communication skills. If anyone needs some help with communication skills, note the chapters of For Better and For Ever which focus on “Marital Communication” and “Problem Solving.”

Discussion Questions: How married couples learn to be sponsor/mentor couples for engaged couple:

Getting started:

1) What attracted both you and your spouse to this ministry?

2) What are some of your apprehensions or concerns? Make a list.

3) What would help you resolve some of these apprehensions or concerns?

Your life challenges as a Christian married couple is critical to the process of this program. It is important for you to share some of your personal experiences. Make a list of the following experiences:

4) When/why did you decide to marry your spouse?

5) How many years have you been married? How many children to you have? What are their ages?

6) Do either or both of you work or stay at home? How do you manage this?

7) Is one of you the major breadwinner? How do each of you feel about this arrangement?

8) How do you manage your finances? Who pays the bills? How is this working for both of you?

9) How do you deal with communication in marriage? How would you grade your communication as a couple? (A, B, C, D, F)

10) How do you deal with your in-laws? Are you satisfied with your relationships with in-laws?

11) Have you had to deal with any major losses? How have you managed this?

12) What would it be like for you to share some of your experiences – good and bad – with the engaged? Are you willing to be honest with them?